The Normal Process

     Waking up in the morning and feeling this way is always a challenge.  You can jump out of the bed and attack the day, but a distracted mind always catches up in the end.  I'm left wondering, 8 months later, why I still feel this way.  Am I dramatizing my feelings in the hopes for external validation?  Am I still going through the "normal process"?  Why does it affect me so much?
     The repetitive existence of the above asked questions makes me feel like I need help from a professional psychiatrist.  There have been many times that I've been sitting with my love, my co-workers, my friends, and I just wanted to blurt out "I need help!".  The best I've been able to do is send it out as text messages, hoping that one of those people would be feeling the same way and know how I'm feeling without actually having to explain myself.  I'm not looking to be given a business card or a website, I'd really just like to receive a message back that says something like "me too".
    It's exhausting.  Feeling terrible almost all of the time, then feeling guilty for the time spent thinking about all of the bad things; the cycle is viscous.  If given the chance, one would probably make the argument that I'm dwelling and need to just move on.  Maybe at some point in the "normal process" I'll figure out where "on" is, and I'll be able to move there, but right now it feels like I'm on a tiny island that is surrounded by the bluest of blue waters; though the horizon is beautiful, it is also damning.
     I know that I'm not the billionth person to feel this way, and it's all very dramatic.  I want to reach out to a group or a person for help, but I also know that what I've lost probably doesn't compare to the tragedies that have rocked other people's lives.  I don't want to be that guy.
     So, here we are, back where we started.