One of the biggest struggles in my goal life and life life is me attempting to match my actions with my values. There is a famous Dumbledore quote that talks about how we will soon have the option between doing what is right and what is easy --> this quote sums up the values to action struggle. Believing what I believe is the easy part, acting contrary to those stated beliefs really calls into question whether or not you believe what you say that you believe.
If actions were an accurate measuring stick of values, the world would be a sad place indeed! No, more often than not, our actions are driven by what's easy/normal rather than what's moral or correct. Of course that is just an opinion of mine, someone who does not view the act of going to church as an action of any value. Actions of real value are those that are done for a moral purpose.
Example: Eating healthy is not in and of itself an action of value. Eating healthy as to reduce waste and harmful practices is an action of value.
It's funny that I'm writing this and explaining as if I'm some sort of 3rd grade level philosophy teacher. There is a huge part of me that would super enjoy that profession, but as it stands, I'm ill-equipped to carry the conversation to the level it needs beyond what I feel it means to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be able to look into the mirror and see the person that I want to be like. I want to inspire myself through my own actions, and as a result of those actions. I want to be a person who can openly speak of my values to other people and know without a doubt that I'm not some sham of a false ideal pushing robot flunky.
The election has given me a lot of personal insight. Listening to other's opinions has reminded me of how shallow those pools of thought can be. More often than not, I'm not disagreeing with another person's beliefs because they are different from mine, I'm inclined to disagree with their beliefs because their words are wind. My words are wind, that's what I'm trying to change, I'd like to be able to believe in myself.
How does a person of specific values reconcile with everything else in life that happens? Where is the line? How do you not step over it? I'm thinking all of these thoughts while a small Asian woman gets to the part of my pedicure that has her rubbing smooth warm rocks up and down my legs. How can something that feels this good be even a little bit wrong? Wrong isn't the word, on no planet is this experience wrong. I really struggle with what the ideal me should and shouldn't do, not because this act is a particularly meaningful act, but because the slope is soooo slippery. If you can justify getting a pedicure and going to Disney World, you can justify pretty much anything. I honestly don't know how those two things fit into the equation that is the me I want to be, I probably need to learn more about my equation before I start deciding what's me and what isn't me. (Habitica Meditation Daily for the Win!)
This is probably why many of the most powerful spiritual leaders abandon their belongings and hectic lifestyles for a much more basic existence. Sure, it's leading by example, but it's also a necessary step towards enlightenment. There are a million things going on in ourselves, and half of those million only exist to pay for the other half million things that we don't need.
It's getting late and I'm getting tired, let's talk more soon.
<3
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